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When our Illusion takes over our Reality

I have always wonder and ponder on some of these movies I have watched that had scenes where one of the characters would be severely wounded and fighting for Life. And while the paramedics are in attendance, you hear the Victim say over and over again ” Please help, I don’t want to die ” and then heartbreakingly the same person is actually on the verge of transitioning from the Living to the dead.

I used to imagine what they see, Feel and Hear at those moment when their lives was being snuffed off from their body. But I got to understand their State of Mind and how they feel when I eventually find myself in that Condition and Situations many times more than I could count, and will confidently say I am a Lucky One to be alive to relate this to the World.


I could vividly recall in July 2004, when the spirit of Fear attacked me through my Mind. It was the very first experience for me back then and it was so intense and suffocating I never believed I would be alive to recount the ordeal.

It started with mild Fever to Typhoid and from Typhoid to Ulcer and it took a turn for the worst afterwards because all I could remember was that I was being admitted to one hospital after the other. At some point I began to hear voices in my head telling me that this is it and there is no way I could make it out of that condition alive. The more the voice speaks and it register in my Mind, the more I found myself experiencing the phobia of death.

In fact, my Dream was filled with nightmares so terrifying that I dread closing my eyes to sleep, and to make matters worst anytime I was discharged back home, I found myself surrounded with news of deaths of neighbors, family friends and Church members that I became Paranoid because I could no longer differentiate between the Real and the Unreal World. I was a shadow and a skeletal figure and I could see that hope of living through it had vanished from the faces of my Family.


I could equally recall in March 2020 during the Covid-19 lockdown, when I began to Bleed heavily for a Month with intense Pain in my Pelvic and Thigh that I could barely walk. At first I assume it was a normal Menstrual Period but then I remembered that I just completed one a week before.

The flow of Blood was like a Tap Water being turned on and off at interval, it was so heavy and flowing freely that aside from the three layers of Pad I packed in my pant, I had to sit on a Pile of Clothes which get all soaked with Blood in minutes. I couldn’t sleep on my bed due to this so I resulted to sleeping on the bare tiled Floor with piles and piles of cloth around my loins throughout the Nights.

I was alone with my Son and couldn’t even confide in him from fear of what it would do to him Psychologically. He was busy doing his Internship and would leave in the morning to return at night. Also going to the hospital would have been the normal thing to do but considering the number of Coronal Virus patients Camped at the hospital, the despair and stressed the doctors had been subjected to made me conclude that visiting the hospital is like the fastest way to invite death.

So I cling to Life at home instead hoping for the better until I woke up one particular morning and I realized that my Heartbeat had changed. I could literally feel Life draining out of me, And it began to aggravate the moment my Mind registered that I was loosing Life and may not make it to the following day. However I took a radical step that very day that Changed everything. And here I am Three years later, Alive and Whole to tell the Story.


Personally, I define FEAR as an Unseen Negative Force with energy and aura so strong that it possess the ability to Penetrate our Mind through Negative Visuals, Reports and Conditions that renders its Victims Powerless under its Control leading to Destructive Manifestations.

Fear feeds on the Negative Images, Words and Situations around us , amplifies it in our Mind so it become Real to us, and because our Brain is like a Transmission Station, it process it and turns it into a Message which is pass down into our HEART. This explains why our Hearts beats faster whenever we are confronted with terror or terrified about something.

This Negative Message or Signal passed down to the Heart is eventually disseminated to all the parts of the Body, activating destructive chemicals in the System that begins to fight and kill all of the Good Cells that helps to Fight the Strange Bodies that causes Diseases and Sicknesses. Hence the reason why People Die quicker when they begin to manifest Fear.

From the above assessment, it is therefore evident that FEAR draws, pulls and magnetize exactly what we Play in our Mind, it literally bring it alive in us and around us. Imagine constantly manifesting the Fear of Living with Cancer because literally every Woman in your Family died or were diagnosed with one, I am sorry to inform you that you are more than likely to be on the List of those Women with Cancer because you are indirectly manifesting it already in your Body.

This occur as a result of your constant thought about it, then Fear picks it up and begin to process it in your Brain to the point that it becomes a living Image Playing in your Mind which is eventually transmitted to your Heart and begin to instantly generate Deadly Chemicals in your System that helps to Activate that very Cancer you dreaded.

You may ask, what are those things that Activate or Generate Fear in us?

  • We become Fearful when we are face with Life threatening Challenges or Conditions.
  • We become Fearful when we have exhausted all of our physical resources, will power and idea to resolve an issue probing a risk to our Peace and Joy.
  • We become Fearful when our Belief and Philosophy Fail Us.
  • We become Fearful when we are Face with the Unknown.
  • We become Fearful when we suddenly realized the rock we assume was solid enough to hold our Weight when we need somewhere and something to Rest the Load of Life we carry suddenly give way and Reality hit Us that all along our Confidents had been invested in mare Sand.
  • Ultimately, we become Fearful when we don’t know Who We Are and Where We Are From.

A lot of us take Life literally and Live it carelessly without stopping to ponder and ask Questions, not only ask Questions but equally SEEK for the Answers.
I can bet you that when you become a Man that Thirst after Knowledge through Discovery then this World will be defined differently by You.


Beloved, there is POWER and LIFE in the WORD we Speak if only we take the Time to Dig Deeper to Discover the TRUTH of GOD.

Whether we like it or not, Believe it or not, there is a SUPREME, SUPERNATURAL and SOVEREIGN Being in charge of all of the Universe and Planets. HE Owns and possesses the Key to Conquering Fear as HE knows its Source.

Therefore your first move towards Liberation from Fear should be to Connect your Soul and Spirit to this same HIGHER, SOVERENGN and SUPREME Being (GOD). And you achieve this by Changing your Thought Process through the Renewal of your Mind. Transformation begins and happens when your Mind receives LIGHT and it is this LIGHT that Shines and spreads into every corner of your Brain clearing every Images, thoughts and imaginations that does not Conform nor Align out of your Mind.

How did I Conquer the Fear that attack to claim my Life in 2004? By switching my thoughts Process and Filling my Mind with the Right Images, Thoughts and Positive Reports knowing that it will Work in the Reverse by Processing a Positive Message in my Brain and disseminating into my Heart and every part of my Body.

How did I Conquer the Fear that attacked me in 2020? By Catching the Revelation of LIFE and POWER in the WORD of GOD as HE Spoke it in the Beginning of CREATION and it all came to Being (Genesis 1,2,3,4,5 ) I began to Speak GOD’s Words and Promises concerning my Life with Authority and Confident and Commanding the spirit and forces behind the Flow of Blood and severe Pain to Cease and leave. (Job 1 v 1, 36 , 2Timothy 1 v 7 ). Read more about this Story in the Home Page.

You want to Live above the Fear of the Unknown ? Then Seek to know the UNKNOWN GOD Through HIS WORD the BIBLE, and You will Find and Know HIM just exactly as HE wants you to know HIM. Personalized!!!!

You want to Live above the Fear of not knowing Who You Are and Where You Are From??? Start by discovery Yourself through Personal Fellowship with HIM and I Promise that Your Dream World will come alive with Messages about You.

In conclusion, you want to Live above the Fear of Prolong issues of Life??? Then starts by accepting that you have No Power of your Own and lack the Capacity to handle issues you cannot Control by Inviting JESUS CHRIST to take Over and Bare the Burden. (Mathew 11 v28-30). I sincerely Hope this Opens the Gateway to Freedom for Someone Today??? I Remain Yours Truly, (Apostolos Katherine Subair)

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